why i came to Japan

...A question I have merely danced around with, but never directly answered. I usually answer with the "everyone goes to Europe and I wanted to be different" response, but that's not the half of it. In retrospect, my college career has been more of a "transitional period" for me instead of a new "era." I want to rid myself of this "transitional period." I'm tired of it. It bores me. It makes me boring. Attempting to find my "niche," my "self" isn't something one would willingly undertake in a heartbeat - I think...

I came to Japan to throw my whole self, my identity, my personality, out of whack. An intentional curve ball, thrown by none other but yours truly. As much as I would love to consider my adventures in Tokyo as one giant vacation, my experiences here feel more along the lines of a forceful catharsis of some sorts. Naturally, one would ask me, "so, how is Tokyo, considering your reasons for coming here? Is it what you were expecting?"

My answer: "Well, it can be hopelessly lonely at times, but I'm glad I've met the right people since I've been here." Call it what you may, fate, destiny, luck, but I'm quite relieved I've met some chill people here.

I feel as if I may still learn some very tough lessons while I'm here in Tokyo. Now, I'm not saying this would necessarily a bad thing, but I do feel that it may be necessary in order for me to keep growing and move on with my life. I've done things I plan never to do again, and my first weekend in Tokyo was a definite example of things I never plan to do again - no matter how much money I'll make some day. My former sense of self has already gone out the window. . But, by the time I leave Tokyo I hope to either regain my former self or discover a totally different "me."

Unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to elaborate on my vague ramblings, this is the best I can do to express my intentions in words.
In other news, I broke my 50mm lens today :( I'm going out tomorrow to attempt to find a cheap replacement.